New rules in malpractice cases

New rules designed to speed up medical malpractice cases have been established in Madison County.

The changes include a requirement of mediation in malpractice cases, as well as the appointment of a panel of circuit judges to review those cases.

The changes, announced by Chief Judge Ann Callis Monday, were created by the Medical-Legal Committee formed during the spring to address malpractice issues.

The rules were formed after the committee met with a number of people, ranging from members of the Illinois State Medical Society and representatives of local hospitals to a number of attorneys.

Under the new rules, the court will hold a case management conference in which deadlines for depositions, as well as other legal matters and possible settlements, will be addressed.
Allmedical malpractice suits will have to go into mediation within 90 days of the completion of depositions. A circuit or associate judge not assigned as the trial judge will act as a mediator, unless all involved agree to an alternate mediator.

All parties must attend the mediation sessions and must "act in good faith," and a report from the mediator will be sent to the trial judge.

All medical malpractice suits must also be reviewed by a panel of circuit judges. The Medical Malpractice Review Panel will include Circuit Judges John Knight, Barbara Crowder, and David Hylla.

For all medical malpractice suits involving incidents prior to Aug. 25, 2005, if the court grants a motion to dismiss without prejudice - meaning the case may be refiled - due to procedural issues involving a certificate of merit, the plaintiff will have 45 days to file an amended certificate of merit.

The certificate, which is usually filed at the same time as the lawsuit, but not always, is a document from a doctor saying that the suit has merit.

"The new rules are designed to get them settled without a trial," said Hylla, who chaired the committee. "I think it's going to be very beneficial as long as both parties come to the mediation and bargain in good faith.

"We're very optimistic," Hylla said. "Our goal is not just to push cases, our goal is for just results."

He noted that the mediation will be beneficial for both sides in malpractice suits, in part because of the expense involved because of expert testimony and other matters.

Hylla said the idea of mediating such lawsuits is becoming more common.

"It's going to take a while to see how mediation will go," he said. "(Medical malpractice) is a relatively small percentage of the cases we have, but they are important cases.
by:edwardsvillejournal.stltoday.com

Patient claims surgery increased back pain

Johannes Quelle has brought a medical malpractice lawsuit against Dr. Robert Phelps, claiming the physician failed to perform the "normal procedure" on him.

Quelle filed his original petition with the Jefferson County District Court on May 31. Judge Bob Wortham, 58th Judicial District, will preside over the case.

According to the plaintiff's petition, Quelle had a history of back problems and back surgeries. He was complaining of pain following one back surgery and on June 9, 2005 another surgery was performed.

"Dr. Phelps violated the duty of care ... and was negligent during the course of the treatment given to plaintiff on June 9, 2005," the suit said.

The suit faults Dr. Phelps with the following acts of negligence:

* The standard of care for Defendant would require that he be knowledgeable on intrathecal narcotic pumps and possible complications related to the pump and how to treat them. Defendant was not knowledgeable in this area of medicine.

* The defendant performed surgery upon the plaintiff wherein he severed and removed a portion of the intrathecal narcotic catheter, which was not the normal standard procedure when treating a small seroma.

* The seroma was not life threatening and the defendant should not have operated on the Plaintiff for there was no medical emergency reason to do so.

* Given the history of the plaintiff, the defendant, upon examination and finding a small seroma on plaintiffs back, should have referred the patient back to the original physician.

As a direct and proximate cause of the defendant's negligence, plaintiff was caused to endure pain and suffering and further surgical procedures," the suit said.

"Consequently, the plaintiff has never gotten the same pain relief as before and continually suffers from low back pain and leg pain. Prior to the Defendant removing the intrathecal catheter or a portion thereof, plaintiff had pain relief approaching 80 percent," the suit added.

Quelle is suing for past and future medical expenses, mental anguish and physical pain.

"Plaintiff alleges that the above-captioned incident injured his body as indicated above," the suit said. "In the event the evidence shows that there was any pre-existing problems with any of these parts of his body, then plaintiff alleges that the incident aggravated and/or exacerbated any such pre-existing condition or problems."

Quelle is represented by Gerald Eddins of the Eddins & Bennett Law Firm. He is demanding a trial by jury.

Case No. A179-412
by:www.setexasrecord.com

Melanoma patient wins malpractice suit

DOWNTOWN SAN DIEGO – A terminal skin cancer patient whose doctor missed his symptoms has won a $5.7 million malpractice judgment from a San Diego Superior Court jury.
Under a 1975 law, the money Regis M. Reilly and his wife actually stand to collect will be reduced to about $2 million, his lawyer, N. Denise Asher, said Wednesday.

Beyond the money, the verdict, delivered last week, is significant because “my clients can hear someone tell them that they have heard them and they understand,” Asher said.

“This was a particularly wicked cancer,” Asher said. “It grew very fast and it needed to be caught immediately.”

Reilly, 54, said in his lawsuit against dermatologist James C. Powers that the doctor failed to biopsy a cyst when Reilly went to see him for bumps on his shoulder in August 2006.

“Essentially, the doctor just missed it,” Asher said.

By the time Reilly was referred to another doctor in December, Asher said, the cancer had spread. She said Reilly underwent surgery to remove the cancer from his shoulder three times but it had metastasized to other parts of his body and was determined to be terminal.

Had the cancer been caught in its early stages, Asher said there was a 95 percent chance that Reilly would have recovered. He is now confined to his home and receives 24-hour care.
by:www.signonsandiego.com

Judie Rappaport: My 87-year-old dad wears a Speedo in public; it's embarrassing!

DEAR JUDIE: My 87-year-old Dad is wearing a Speedo bathing suit at his condo pool because his new girlfriend (88) thinks he looks sexy! Are they crazy? I'm mortified. What can I do to end this humiliation?

Celeste, Vero Beach
DEAR CELESTE: End your embarrassment by staying out of Dad's pool area. This is not about you. Dad's bathing suit is within legal limits, he's wearing the proper attire for a pool, and he's enjoying his life.

DEAR JUDIE: When I found out my favorite 81-year-old uncle had terminal cancer, I immediately went to Pennsylvania to help. My aunt, 80, has her own health issues and was glad to see me. She was always there for me when I needed her and I wanted to return her love by relieving her of the responsibility of taking care of my uncle. After I set up live-in home care, called Hospice, went grocery shopping, cleaned, cooked — everything I could think of — my aunt changed from nice to cool and resistant to my help. What happened?

Penny, Stuart

DEAR PENNY: I can hear readers saying, "I could use help, Penny, come to my house!" If they actually expressed those feelings, that would constitute an invitation. Taking charge of your uncle's needs was your aunt's domain. Unless she invited you or agreed to your help before your visit, your loving and well-meant reaction must have felt like an invasion of her privacy.

Call your aunt and apologize. Tell her how much her love and kindness meant to you through the years. Show your love and respect by asking her permission, "Can I help?" If she declines, say you love her and not to hesitate to call if she needs help or just wants to talk. Send cards, write warm letters, and call her frequently to respectfully repeat your offers and expressions of love.

DEAR JUDIE: I'm concerned about Mom's care in her nursing home. She's fallen twice, amazingly with no damage, but I don't think she should be falling at all. What's my next step?

Phil, Stuart

DEAR PHIL: Accidents happen, but falling twice suggests problems. Visit the director of nursing and ask for details: Where was the fall? Who found her? Could Mom's medications cause dizziness? Who examined her to determine whether she was injured? What was the cause of her fall? Has the staff made arrangements to prevent another fall?

Ask to attend the patient care conference (staff meeting to discuss Mom's plan of care). Keep records of the dates you visit, whom you talk to, questions asked, answers given and other problems witnessed or discussed. If the nursing home refuses to answer your questions or Mom falls again, file a formal complaint with the Agency for Health Care Administration at (888) 419-3456 (www.ahca.myflorida/com/contact). Your written record will help. Stay involved. Supportive family members often help improve the level of care for nursing home patients.
by:www.tcpalm.com

Man Leading Nation in $10 Billion Suit On Behalf of America’s Fathers Speaks Out!

The poor poverty stricken man who is pursuing a $10 Billion Civil Suit against the State of Oregon, the Federal Government and 49 other States on behalf of himself as lead plaintiff and hundreds of thousands of fathers across the nation has given this author permission to publish his account of his current circumstances for the public record.

“On May 13th, 2007 I got a letter from an attorney who I paid $100 to review my case. The first attorney who reviewed my case over the phone without any documentation also charged me $100. The first attorney referred me to the second attorney. The second attorney consulted with a third attorney more her superior and qualified to deal with my “complex” case.

"The letter dated May 7th, 2007 included a copy of the original letter sent from the same attorney who had not responded since getting paid the $100 for more than a month.

The original letter was dated April 24th, my 51st birthday which I spent alone crying for several hours on the shores of the Pacific Ocean in Venice Beach because I have not been able to see my two minor children, age 5 and 11 for more than three years.”

Originally the father had contacted the law firm just to get child visitation rights established by getting a court appointed attorney for the children who live in Eugene, Oregon.

The mother, over the past 13 years has had the man arrested on at least five occasions on false charges given to various local police, mostly after arguments about money and how to discipline the children.

Some of those charges included a felony which the father pled no contest to but which prevents the father from getting a job as a licensed real estate sales person in California, a profession in which he was successful prior to moving to California. A hearing with the State of California is set for August on that issue.

A no contest plea is treated the same as pleading guilty and usually avoids lengthy and costly trials, but leaves a permanent record on any mans life, barring him from many rights and opportunities, something which isn’t always explained by lawyers and judges to those accused of things they didn’t really do.

After much patient waiting by the father, the law firm finally wrote him a letter stating that in order for the law firm to represent him, he had to agree to authorize them to file a motion to appoint Robert Loveland or some other qualified psychologist to conduct a comprehensive custody evaluation for the purpose of generating a comprehensive custody and parenting time recommendation pertaining to the father, the mother and his two minor children,.

The letter stated that the law firm would prefer to use Dr Loveland who works out of Portland but provided no information about him, his practice or his qualifications. The letter went on to state that there are a few other qualified psychologists in Eugene who would also suffice. Their fees range from $4,000 to $6,000 and the father would need to pay that up front, directly to the psychologist.

It is a well documented fact that “the psychiatric profession is made up of more quacks and idiots than all the mental institutions in the world combined, their pseudo science is full of jargon not even a rocket scientist could fathom, and psychology is nothing more than the brainwashing gibberish that lists more than ten thousand ‘mental disorders’ that only exist as idea’s and concepts in the minds of the people who invented them and who perpetually and ignorantly foist their pseudo knowledge and phony wisdom upon the unsuspecting victims erroneously seeking their help”, at least according to the philosophy of Scientology – “The Science of Knowing How to Know”.

Unfortunately, the mental health profession leaves much to be desired for society. If it really were a mental health profession, we would have no crime, no war and no insanity, or at least these things would be diminishing in the world rather than expanding.

Any human being who looks around at current planetary conditions could easily see from doing a tiny bit of research that the psychiatric profession has co-opted the legal and justice system in America.

Every lawyer and judge in America has been duped into believing that these “experts” know something about how to improve the conditions of their patients. The exact opposite is true.

Just take a look at how much more profitable drug companies are today than they were thirty years ago. The greatest demand for prescription drugs comes from those written by psychiatrists. And psychiatrists are also the largest direct and indirect stockholders in publicly traded drug cartels.

Without justice, there can be no peace, without love, there can be no peace, without peace there can be no love, without love, there can be no justice, without justice, there can be no love, and there are no absolutes of these things, peace, love, justice, but they are interlocked into triangular degrees of sanity...for as one side of the triangle of peace, love and justice diminishes in power, capacity or application, the other two sides diminish correspondingly, and these three sides of the triangle are the building blocks of a sane civilization.

To the degree that peace, love and justice are blocked in any society, to that degree that society is insane, and there comes a point when insanity reaches a point where that society is doomed. Just ask any Roman, Greek or Babylonian...what went wrong?

The lawyer wrote that they would ask the Court to order the mother to pay some portion of the cost of the psychiatric evaluations, but that request would not be ruled on until the close of the case, so the father would need to front the money.

This case involves complicated histories on both parents’ parts of allegations of drug and alcohol abuse, alleged domestic violence, criminal allegations and convictions, all of them now expunged, etc.

The mental health, domestic violence and chemical dependency issues render this case complex and it would not serve the father or the children to go forward without the assistance of a mental health professional skilled and trained in custody evaluations, all according to the opinion of one attorney and her senior legal partner.

“In general, it is a given understanding among the legal profession that these types of cases are dictated solely by ‘the children’s best interests’ but the complicated circumstances render it exceedingly difficult to flesh that out”, said the lawyer.

The law firm insists that the father resort to a custody evaluation conducted by a qualified mental health professional / custody evaluator. “The ONLY issue before the court in a custody/parenting time case is ‘what will serve the children’s best interests?”, according to the lawyer.

How many psychiatrists does it take to figure out what is in the best interests of a child and what say do the children have in the matter if they wish to see their father regardless of what their mother tells them about him?

According to research conducted online, Dr. Ira Daniel Turkat, PhD says that “Divorce related child visitation interference is a national problem, affecting six million children.

"Such interference may be acute or may represent chronic disorders, such as Parental Alienation Syndrome and Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome. In certain cases, visitation interference is accompanied by vicious behaviors toward the noncustodial parent, including violence and violations of law.”

It would appear that if the children’s best interests were at the real core of all child visitation issues in the current legal system, there would not be six million children crying at night before bed time for their Daddy’s, let alone the six million plus fathers who have been psychologically trained to “bite the bullet, be a man, hang tough, and be strong”, but who suffer great grief from their losses nevertheless, and are currently powerless to enforce their rights as fathers and men.

The psychologist would meet and observe the father, the mother, and the children, any other significant people in the children’s lives, which in this case includes an alcoholic grandmother who is financially supporting the mother who is on welfare and who works for another law firm in Eugene.

The psychiatrist would have numerous interactions with the parties and the children; he would sift through and investigate all the allegations and circumstances. The father would need to fly up from Los Angeles to Eugene at least 3 times for that purpose.

That could prove difficult for a man who himself is now on food stamps, is collecting unemployment and is on the waiting list for surgery at UCLA Medical Center involving three hernias and other internal complications which have caused internal bleeding on and off for the past five years. The man is very close to being permanently disabled.

The lawyer went on to say they would file a motion to set a hearing to occur about 21 days from the date of filing to establish a temporary parenting time / access plan for the father and the children.

This would moist likely result in initial supervised parenting time for the father. In light of the history of this case, most critically the fact that the father has been out of the children’s lives for so long, even assuming that it is on account of mom’s bad behavior, and the fact of alleged abuse, and the fact that the father has filed numerous, lengthy and somewhat renting pleadings on his own behalf in the State and Federal court system, the judge’s will be likely to err on the side of caution when it comes to assessing the father’s emotional and mental stability.

This all according to the attorney who is too obviously also a woman.

In other words, if you file renting complaints using the Court system without an attorney your emotional and mental stability are in question? Could only a woman could come up with that kind of logic, or is this ingrained within the legal profession – “if you need a lawyer you are mentally incompetent”.
“What the father and half the men in this country are not aware of is that if you hire an Esquire, a member of the BAR, you are basically stating and admitting to the court and the world that you are mentally incompetent and unable to represent yourself before society on the particular case in question, according to Master of Psychology drop out, Karl Chromy of Portland, Oregon. Chromy studied psychology for twelve years at Portland State University and never graduated.

After becoming a professional psychology student he eventually became permanently disabled after a hockey accident. Is there any connection between accidents and psychiatrists? Another story indeed!

In this instance, according to the attorney, parenting time would realistically need to begin on a supervised basis, but with the assistance of parenting time supervisors and several successful interactions between the father and his children, parenting time would likely expand, hopefully in fairly short order. Why does a father need supervised visits when the mother and grandmother kidnapped his children and haven’t allowed them to see their father for over three years?

The lawyers say they know a good supervisor in Eugene and told the father he could fly up from Los Angeles twice a month or more to visit. There is only one crime in America. That crime is not having enough money to take care of your own personal business affairs and satisfy your personal needs.

Unfortunately the true criminals who create scarcity in this world – the Bankers and the Lawyers – are the ones in control of the global economy, so is it any wonder that well over $50 billion is now owed in back child support by more than a million hard working fathers from the 50 states? After all, 99.99% of Congress is composed of lawyers.

The lawyers said that “after a few months, they would seek to release the supervision requirement and expand the visits. If you impress the evaluator, you could anticipate less frequent, but lengthy visits in California, to coincide with your kids’ academic breaks”.

So if all courts deal in the best interests of the child then why would anyone need to impress an evaluator? Why would the BAR be set so high that it excludes 95% of all hard working men from seeing their children by creating an invisible tax of unaffordable legal services?

The children always know the truth deep inside – they already know who really loves them from a distance, like God might admire his children and let them make their own mistakes, and they also know who tortures them with daily doses of verbal abuse and lies. The dichotomy is real! It is mothers who raise most men in this country. The women’s movement has seemed to have forgotten that fact.

Unfortunately, according to Dr. Turkat “the desire for ongoing and liberal visitation between child and nonresidential parent has frequently not kept pace with actual practices. The Children's Rights Council (1994) estimates that six million children in the United States have their visitation interfered with by the custodial parents.

“Two surveys support the range of this problem. Arditti (1992) reports that approximately 50% of divorced fathers relate that their ex-wife has interfered with visitation with their offspring. Similarly, approximately 40% of custodial mothers admit denying their ex-husband visitation in order to punish him (Kressel, 1985). In some cases, visitation interference has been associated with malicious unlawful acts against the father of such children (Turkat, in press). On rare occasions, a parent may actually kidnap the child.”

Kidnapping is defined as when “A child was taken in violation of a custody agreement, court order or decree, the kidnapper failed to return a child at the end of a legal or agreed-upon visit, with the child being away at least overnight. An attempt was made to conceal the taking, or the whereabouts of a child, or to prevent contact with the child. The child is transported out of state, or there is evidence that the abductor had the intent to keep the child indefinitely, or to permanently alter custodial privileges,” according to the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

In this particular case the woman took the children from Reno without the father’s knowledge after the woman found out through confidential emails with business associates that the father intended to divorce the mother and give her $2.4 million as a settlement of their marriage thereafter.

Where that money was to come from is a whole different story, perhaps even a book or a movie. It took the father three months to find the children living with the children’s grandmother in Eugene, Oregon. The woman abandoned the home in Reno.

In 2008, there will be an estimated 5 million divorces, affecting more than 5 million children. Out of those families that are being broken up by a financial, economic and legal system that destroys incentive and continues to ship jobs overseas, while the cost of gas skyrockets at home, on any given day, at least 1,000 children will be taken away from the other parent without their knowledge and kidnapped away according to the National Crime Information Center.

There are more than 40 million children in America today, living with a single parent who is separated, or divorced. In 2008 there may be more than 2 million additional new divorces as millions of families lose their homes to foreclosures from the housing depression that is well underway and could last another decade.

150,000 divorces a year, or 1 in 7 involve child custody battles. Today’s average marriage will last about five years. Single-parent families have increased by over 1000% since 1960 as have divorces.

Not politics, law nor religion have provided an effective antidote to this spreading social disease.

The lawyers told the father that he would need to deposit $2,500 into their client trust account. Can anyone really trust bankers and lawyers these days?

“In light of our review of your financial history and circumstances, we are not willing to proceed with less than that up front. With a custody evaluator on board, however, that really minimizes, potentially, the amount of work that the attorneys have to do. At any time that your trust account balance fell below $1,200, you would need to deposit an additional $500 within one week of being so notified,” wrote the lawyer to the poor father.

There is only one thing worse than being insane. That is “not knowing” that you are insane. The court system that the legal profession has dreamed up and foisted upon the fathers of America is insane and they do not know it, but fathers all over the country do and they will eventually do away with the entire lot in the process of seeking justice.

As a homeless man once wrote in a poem written for a song for a soundtrack of a yet to be finished major screen play, “The Bankers and the Lawyers they all fall down”.

A group of people in California known as Fathers for Justice are now in discussions to form a legal offense fund to change the laws and mandate equally shared parenting time, regardless of the circumstances surrounding disputes among couples and their legal separation issues. Their recent support of Alec Baldwin at a rally for father’s rights was very well publicized elsewhere.

Another group out of Indiana is moving forward with their class action lawsuits in each state of the union. To demonstrate how insane lawyers and politicians have become, the following story should give the reader a tiny peek into absurdity.

According to Glenn Sacks, “It would be difficult to make California's controversial domestic violence policies more irrational and unfair to men, but Senator Sheila Kuehl (D--Santa Monica) is trying.

“California law has long excluded men and their children from receiving state-funded DV services, even though research demonstrates that a third of domestic violence-related injuries are incurred by heterosexual males caused by women.

“The legislature reiterated this exclusion last fall by passing AB 2051, which references services for ‘battered women’ 31 times yet never once mentions "male victims," "men," or even simply ‘victims.’

While California funds over 100 domestic violence shelters for women, there are only two facilities in the state which even accept male victims, and both of them are in remote areas.

Recently Kuehl and the California Senate Judiciary Committee took the state's DV policies to a new level of absurdity by passing a law to address the issue of domestic violence and...Pets!

Kuehl's SB 353 amends Section 6320 of the Family Code so that women claiming domestic abuse can more easily gain custody of the family's pets. The bill also allows women to obtain restraining orders which prevent alleged abusers from having contact with their pets.

While legislators focus on protecting dogs, cats, rabbits and hamsters from being exposed to domestic violence, they've failed to offer any services to men, and still the children’s longsuffering weeps, deep into the night, asking, where is my Daddy?

Isn’t it amazing that intelligent people practicing law cannot come up with simpler solutions that are really in the best interests of their potential clients’ children? Is there anything more important to the future survival of the human race than our children?

Has the United States Government, the State of Oregon and many of their attorney’s, employees and agents also become unwitting accomplices in what appears to be a developing story of kidnapping?

This is the third article written by Alex S. Gabor on the subject of individual father’s rights versus the State and Federal Government. A book, “Domestic Family Terrorism” by the same author is in the works, seeking a publisher.
by:www.americanchronicle.com

Lung patient sues for clean oxygen

Firm says it's never had other complaints
Littleton - Norman "Jack" Newell, 75, who is battling chronic lung disease, has spent a decade trying to get clean breathing oxygen, according to a suit he and his former wife filed in Jefferson County District Court this month.

Jack and Linda Newell allege that Apria Healthcare Group Inc., a supplier of home oxygen breathing equipment, has delivered equipment visibly contaminated with mold and insect parts.

That, the Newells contend, led to additional lung infections and required several trips to hospitals for Jack Newell.

"His immune system can't fight anything off anymore," Linda Newell said. "People expect their medical equipment to be clean, safe and healthy, and it's not."

Apria Healthcare officials said in a statement that they have repeatedly offered the Newells an opportunity to use another supplier of home oxygen, and the couple has refused.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration inspected Apria's Littleton facility in 2005 and issued no citations, said Lisa Getson, executive vice president of Apria at the company's Lake Forest, Calif., office.

The FDA also inspected the site in 2001 and did find problems, according to a report.

"The facility was not maintained in a clean and sanitary condition," the 2001 FDA inspection document concluded.

The problems noted include:

No tracking mechanism to ensure preventive maintenance was done in accord with company or manufacturer recommendations.

Dirt coating two of 37 oxygen units.

Dirty and torn fiberglass ceiling insulation hanging down over storage areas.

Company staff could not determine if one randomly chosen oxygen unit had been cleaned between patients, the inspectors noted.

The staff claimed they received only one complaint in the previous year, but it "was not the complaint that prompted this inspection," according to the report.

Apria's Getson said only the Newells have complained about the cleanliness of her company's oxygen delivery systems.

"In the 10 years these patients have used our service, Apria has cared for at least 1 million other oxygen patients across the United States, and we have not had any complaints," Getson said.

The company is certified for 18 years by the Joint Commission, a company that evaluates health organizations, Getson said.

Still, Linda Newell said inspections aren't catching problems.

Nine 3-foot-tall oxygen tanks stand to the side of Jack Newell's bed, in the wood-paneled room in which he has spent the past six months.

Linda Newell cleans the oxygen containers with bleach mixtures and sends water condensation bottles through her dishwasher on a sanitize cycle.
by:www.denverpost.com

Fatherly advice from Cape dads

Being a parent, as almost any mom or dad will tell you, is the single most challenging and important job you will ever have. The hours can be grueling, but the joys can be unsurpassed.

So for Father's Day, we sought out some of the brave men who took on that job and asked what advice they would give to other men about to embark on the most critical task of their lives: becoming a great dad.
We found men with toddlers and ones with grandchildren, some with one or two children and one with five. Their advice varies, but much of it centers on a few key principles: Spend time with your children; savor that time; be there for them; and recognize that life is not about you anymore.

And they wouldn't have it any other way.

Chris Guyette of Hyannis, who has a 15-month-old son and 18-year-old daughter

"Be prepared for big changes! You are going to have another life in your house!�

"You will appreciate the little things in life that you used to take for granted, like taking the time to study your child's face and learn their little quirks. You learn more about yourself and how fast life changes at any given moment. Our son gives us something new to look at every day — a Cheshire Cat grin, a new word. Appreciate those little things, and value every minute, because it is all those little moments in life that will lead him or her to the bigger moment in life when they are adults.

"And those little milestones will never repeat, so keep a scrapbook so you can reflect back when your child is

older. Treat older kids and teens with respect, and understand that each child is an individual, and understand those differences — you have to be a chameleon, changing parenting tactics from child to child to suit their personalities, while being fair and equitable between them all."

Bob Johnson of Centerville, who has four grown daughters and two grandchildren

"My kids and family always come first, and I never treat one daughter better than the others. I have always tried to reason with them and explain my decisions, and I think by doing that, we have a very open, talkative relationship. Don't preach to your children, rather talk to them and explain right and wrong.

"Keep them away from drugs, which can destroy their lives.

"My door will always be open to my children, no matter what they have done or what trouble they may be in. I brought them into this world, and it is my responsibility to protect them and provide for them."

n Mark Sundman of Sandwich, who has an 18-year-old son and 14-year-old daughter

"I have always taught my children that the best way to avoid getting into drugs is simply to never try it. If you never try it, you will know for sure that you will never desire it or become addicted to it.

"My children and I are very close, and I think that is because we participate in things together that we like. Many parents go to soccer games or gymnastics but don't actually participate. My son and I love mountain biking together, and my daughter and I are into music (she is in a hand-bell choir, and I am learning the guitar)."

Dan MacDonald of Mashpee, who has two daughters, ages 2 and 3

"Being a father changes your perspective — life is not about you anymore, it is about your kids. You start to enjoy things that you haven't enjoyed in 30 years when you are a dad. You appreciate the small things in life and the absolute joy of watching them grow."

n William Murphy of Brewster, who has four grown sons

"I think that you realize that the world doesn't revolve around you anymore — that your kids come first, and you need to be there for them, no matter what. And you need to realize that your children will follow in your footsteps — they see you as their role model, and so you need to make sure that they are learning from you what you want them to learn. You can inadvertently be a bad role model if you are not careful."

Lee Flanagan of Bourne, who has a 4-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter

"The rewards of being a parent go along with the effort you put in. Be 100 percent involved — don't be a part-time father. Being a dad is not a spectator sport. There is a huge difference between being a 'father' and being a 'dada' — anyone can be a father, but you must really work at it and devote the time and effort to your children to become a dad."

Rob O'Regan of Forestdale, who has a 4-year-old son

"You learn as you go. Being a dad fills up so much empty space that you never even knew was there. I couldn't imagine my life without him. You have to love them unconditionally. Go with the flow, and have rules, but be flexible as well. Do things with them every day, because the time goes by amazingly fast.

"Children make you remember the simple joys of life and how exciting the smallest feat can be."

Steve Tordone of Sagamore Beach, who has a 4-year-old daughter and 2-year-old son

"I am still learning, and it is always a learning process. I never thought I could love someone as much as I do my children. Be patient with your children, and realize that your time is no longer your own."

Justin Bousquet of Mattapoisett, who has a 1-year-old son

"Bringing up another human being is enormous work. Be patient, because when you look back when they get older, you realize it wasn't so hard. You understand more about yourself as a man as well, and you eventually realize that being a dad gets easier as long as you put your children first."

Jeff Allen of West Barnstable, who has an 8-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter

"Sleep while you can, have great patience, and get a good sense of humor. Your life will change, but don't give up your passions — expose your children to your hobbies and what you enjoy. Take them to restaurants and on vacations from the time they are babies, and they will be easy to go places with and do things with as they grow, because they are used to it."

Bernie Milton of Sandwich, who has three grown children and four grandchildren

"You learn patience and moderation. You may get the urge to be really angry, but you must learn to moderate that anger and understand that they

make mistakes. Treat them like adults, even when they are young."

n Gary Cardeiro of Falmouth, who has a 21-year-old son and four daughters, ages 16, 15 and 13-year-old twins

"Be part of your children's lives — go to sporting events, school functions — it will run you ragged, but you will never regret it."

Steve Pothier of Sandwich, who has two daughters, ages 24 and 21

"Learn patience, and don't be quick to judge them, especially as teens. You need to let them make mistakes, even though it may cause you pain as you watch them learn from their falls."
by:www.capecodonline.com